Tip: Make your vision as specific as you can. Then focus on the process, not solely on the outcome.
When I say specific I mean really specific. Tangible. Where are you? What does it look like? What are you doing? What are you wearing? What does it feel / smell / sound / taste like? Who is with you? And so on. Be very, very specific. Summon that image or feeling up whenever you need a reminder of what you’re getting up for in the morning. We all need those reminders.
Have you ever felt like life is a maelstrom tearing you about and you have no control? I have. I spent the biggest portion of my time on earth this way and I can tell you it wasn’t making me happy. It felt like everybody else knows what they want and how to get there, but not me. It was incredibly frustrating to feel like I’m having to rely on something outside of my influence, as if I’m not meant to create my own future.
Whatever school of thought we grew up in shapes how we approach walking our own path.
Which of the following categories do you see yourself in?
a) The Shoe Fits: Some of us know early on what to do in life – either because they can simply sense what fits (and what doesn’t fit) (a1) or maybe because they accept or resonate with what’s the done thing in their environment (a2).
b) The Non-Mover: Others feel like they’re hanging by a thin thread and any ‘unnecessary’ motion might make it snap. So they don’t move.
Societal pressure, peer pressure, familial conditioning, health challenges, financial pressures – can all be reasons to not allow ourselves to dream, have a big vision and go for it (whatever ‘it’ may be for us).
c) The Sandpaper Experience: Others still experience near constant friction, because they don’t feel they fit. They don’t feel like they want the same things and don’t have the same interests as those around them. So they move house, jobs or friend circles a lot but it doesn’t bring fulfillment. It can be a lonely battle.
d) The Peaceful Warrior: These are the ones who have faced their demons, recognized that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to life and that that’s perfectly fine. They’ve been through stuff, battled with it and they’ve learned some (likely tough) lessons. And now they’re making the most of it.
Where do I see myself? I’m an imperfect d) and that’s perfectly fine
But not for the first time… I grew up trying to fit in at any cost, then went back and forth between non-mover and Sandpaper Experience…
and I’ve learnt this lesson too:
Nothing is permanent and it’s easy to fall back into old habits when we lose focus.
If you’re anywhere between a2) and c) I’d like you to think about this:
What would you gain if you allowed yourself to dream without restriction?
What if you listened to that little voice inside that tells you ‘there has to be more to life’?
What if we admitted to ourselves and the world that we have big dreams and we’re going to go for it, no matter what others think?
Can you see what you could gain?
Once you’re at the point where you allow yourself to dream, to focus on your vision, make it as specific as you can. You can start thinking of a rough idea, and refine over time. See it, and yourself in it. Hear it, Feel it. Smell it. Taste it.
What do you see, hear, sense?
Does it make you want to move?
Does your heart beat faster?
Do you want to jump out of bed and get started?
What’s holding you back from acting on it right now?
Can you take a first step?
We never know where life takes us – that’s pretty much the only guaranteed thing in this world. That fact could be scary, but it can also be exciting. It screams POSSIBILITIES! So if we don’t know what’s going to happen it becomes incredibly important to enjoy the ride as much as we can, whatever that means to each of us.
How could you enjoy the ride more?
What would help you shift to a limitless mindset?
Get in touch if you want to stop struggling and start dreaming! Let’s dive in!
The Cordial Coach
Jasmin Egner is a Whole Person Certified Coach, working with clients from various industries across the globe.
Jasmin is a Co-Founder of Cordial Fox Limited and lives in Edinburgh, Scotland.